Pick a Number

I got a call from a SelectHealth robot again.

"Are you a parent of Bobby X? Please say yes or no"

I got the same call a week before. I hope its not important.

"No" I responded

"Will you take a message for the parent of Bobby X?"

Last week I said no and the recorded voice said thank-you and promptly hung up. I tried a different tactic.

"You have a wrong number" I said

"Thank-you" the machine responded "Please have a parent call 1-800-_____"

That's why we don't send robots off to war I later told Ty. He mimicked "Are you Osama Bin Ladin? Please say yes or no"

Sometimes humans aren't much better.

Years ago we would get calls from a local Junior High when Sammy didn't show up. Despite telling the secretary she had the wrong number, we continued to get those truancy calls. At the end of the school year Sammy actually called. He wanted to know where his report card was. I wanted to tell him he skipped school so much we didn't bother with the report card but Jules wouldn't let me.

For the past six years people still call Jule's cell phone for Tina. Jules politely lets the caller know Tina hasn't had the number in years. The unsaid message is if Tina gave you this number, Tina doesn't want to hear from you.

Even the professionals at Ma Bell mess the numbers up occasionally. After getting new phone service set-up in a new home we found we were still getting calls for two numbers, ours and the previous occupants.

"That's impossible, Ma'am" the operator told Jules.

"Humor me" and call each number Jules responded.

The operator experienced a miracle.

The real miracle will be if SelectHeath finds Bobby X's parents

A New Approach to Resolutions

Yesterday I was eating lunch with Jules and Raychee when Wookie walked in and eagerly declared success with her New Year's resolution even though we weren't a full week into the new year.

"What's that?" I asked.

"I'm not going to drink sodas" she beamed

"Why would you do that?" Sodas aren't a vice in the household, in fact we keep a stash of Diet Coke and Fresca in food storage, next to the canned peaches.

"I don't like soda" Wookie explained. "So I'll be able to keep this resolution"

It's true, Wookie doesn't drink much soda. Even at fast food resturants she gets the fruit punches. We even have a stash of non-soda liquid refreshments in food storage I call "Wookie drinks" because I use them for her lunches; usually fruit punch in loudly decorated containers or nasty Gatorade she seems to like.

Jules and I realized we were looking at this resolution thing the wrong way. Why not throw in a resolution or two that already matches your lifestyle?

We both resolved to stay clean and sober. I'll even stay off the Gatorade.